OK ladies and gentleman, the time has come for me to accept the truth. I am becoming fat and no one can deny that. Gone are the days when I could pick out the XS (extra small ) size from the shopping mall and flaunt it in front of my friends. Now I have become a big fat M (medium) and no amount of cheering up is going to change that fact. So, I have decided to make my peace with it.
What’s the harm in becoming fat. I mean, the entire universe is expanding and if I add a couple of kilograms to it I really don’t think it’s going to make much of a difference. Also, the apocalyptic predictions made by the ancient oracles suggest that the world is going to end in 2012 and given the fact that I have roughly one and a half years to live, losing weight should probably be the last thing on my mind. Hence, I have decided to put an end to my quest of losing weight and enjoy my life to the fullest.
Eight months ago I was devastated when I had hopped on to the weighing machine totally oblivious of the fact that I had put on weight. The dial began to turn clock wise and refused to stop. 25, 30, 35, 40…. It kept going on and on. I was expecting it to come to a halt at some point. But no! It didn’t. You can’t even fathom how horrible I felt at that moment. I weighed X kilograms (I have no intention to reveal my weight at this point). That was not supposed to happen. Not to me! Not to the girl who was no taller than five feet two inches.
It was then that I decided that this uncontrolled addition of body mass had to stop at any cost. At that precise moment I swore to all my Gods that I would reduce my weight. I embarked upon, what I now call, Mission Impossible. I came back home that evening and looked at my image in the mirror. I had indeed put on weight. A lot of weight. In a span of four months I had put on ten kilograms. I was so busy with my work that I did not even realize I was become fatter by the day.
From the very next day I started gathering all the information on weight loss. Steam bath, Super Sauna Belt, Ab Butterflies (a butterfly shaped device which removes excess weight around the abdominal area), Morning Jogger (an equipment that helps you jog in the comfort of your bed) – the list was endless. For your information, these are products that guarantee instant weight loss. On consulting some of my friends I found out that these things were nothing but hokum and decided to switch over to the conventional methods of weight loss (the ones which are slow and laborious). Off I went to the market and purchased everything that was necessary- jogging shoes, track pants, t-shirts, swim suit, dumbbells, hula hoops and what not. I even borrowed an iPod from one of my friends. After all nothing relaxes you more than some good music during a tiring workout (at that point I had assumed that my workouts were going to be tiring).
I jogged for about a week, swam for three days and attended yoga classed for a day or two. Thereafter, all my equipments were dumped in the closet, yoga classes were discontinued. I convinced myself that I had shed enough weight to put an end to my so-called fitness regime. And then I took out all my party dresses and tried to stuff myself into them. I did not succeed. That was bound to happen. After all, I was trying to defy the laws of physics. I mean, how was a body supposed to fit inside a container whose volume was much lesser than its own.
The only option left was dieting (read starvation). Sadly it did not work out either ( I am a foodie… I simply love food). I tried to cheer my self by watching television. But Munni and Sheila, with their super slim abs and perfect figure, drove me to frustration. How was I supposed to watch these bollywood babes shake their bellies to sizzling item numbers when mine was gradually shifting outwards.
In an attempt to make my body fit I was ruining my mind. I was spending sleepless nights contemplating how to lose weight. After some time I realized that it was not worth that much trouble. Now I have officially quit this mission. If my weight has to increase so be it. I have stopped breaking my head over this issue.
So, if any one of wants to visit my house with a box of chocolates or gajar ka halwa he/she is most welcome. 🙂