Hell’s Kitchen…

Great news everyone! I got promoted! Not at my workplace; I don’t see any chance of that happening in the  foreseeable future. However, I have definitely climbed one more step up the domestic ladder.

It happened about two months back when one of my flat mates, also the head chef of the house, had to leave the country  on an assignment, leaving me, the naive and inexperienced sous chef, at the mercy of my rudimentary culinary skills. I wouldn’t deny that I was thoroughly excited by the thought of undertaking this Herculean task in the beginning. I had finally gotten a chance to test my cooking skills and also to appease my forever nagging mother and grandmother who still consider decent cooking skills as a prerequisite for a girl to get married. I have spent many an hour listening to my granny rant about all the things that well cultured wives and bahus are supposed to do. “The groom’s family will run away. No one will marry you. You don’t even know how to cook!”, she says. God knows how much I loath these conversations. Anyway, I willingly donned the apron and there I was- the new Master Chef of the house. 🙂

Everything was fine in the beginning; I started discharging my duties with the required gusto. I experimented with new dishes and to my great surprise and also everyone else’s, they were quite palatable. Of course, I made simple dishes in the beginning. Delighted by the knowledge that the food I prepared was fit for human consumption, I was convinced that I was a cook worth my salt. However, as it turned out, my excitement was short-lived.  With each passing day I became more and more impatient and clumsy. The Master Chef’s Kitchen was soon transformed into Hell’s Kitchen. 😦

Now, I am at the verge of a nervous break down. All the veggies seem to take an eternity to get cooked and that irritates me immensely. Whenever I leave the vegetables partially cooked, my domestic help gives me a sardonic smile (“Madamji, ye aap kya kar rahi hain”) and I smile back ( “Just mind your own business“). Moreover, I keep burning my fingers off and on. On one occasion I managed to set my hair on fire. I am absolutely sure that if my lack of culinary skills doesn’t scare the groom’s family away, the scars on my hands and fingers definitely will. I have resorted to making khichdi on a daily basis now, not something that I relish but it does keeps me alive.

I am desperately waiting for my flat mate to return and take this burden off my back. Cooking is not my cup of tea. I am cut out for menial tasks such as stirring the gravy, applying ghee to the rotis, garnishing the dishes with coriander leaves etc. And as far as my marriage is concerned, why can’t I find a groom who knows how to cook? After all, there are quite a few cute looking guys who take part in cooking competitions which are aired on the television 😉 Aren’t there? 🙂

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13 responses to “Hell’s Kitchen…”

  1. Bikram says :

    firsttttttt …

    he he he he I like that .. When you are ready for marriage the ad will say Wanted a Husband who can cook 🙂 he he he

    made me smile the article I am sure by the time your room-mate comes you will be a master at cooking… I learnt to cook when i came here 🙂
    All the best and WAHT fire in hair OMG Now even I am not that bad 🙂 ha ha ha ha … but lucky me i dont have long hair anymore phewwwwwwwwwww

    All the best and take care ..

    • Chhavi says :

      First indeed 🙂 😀 Yeah, that’s what my marriage ad will say.
      I hope I’ll be able to master this skill before my flatmate returns. 🙂
      I had waist length hair at that time.

  2. Harsha K N says :

    Hah! another awesome read 🙂 sad to know u dont cook the way you write 😛 I wish you find one of those cute looking , good cooking guy 🙂

  3. Destination Infinity says :

    I share this cooking aversion. Actually, I learnt to cook rice, and I can cook some small dishes like rasam, lemon rice, tomato rice, potato curry etc. One day, my house owner asked me, ‘how much time you take to cook?’ I said 3 and a half hours. ‘3 and a half hours?, what all you cook?’ I said, rice and rasam. She asked, ‘that’s all?!!’

    She got the biggest shocker of her life! And I too got a shocker to know that she does the same job in half an hour! Yeah, from that day I pretty much stopped cooking 🙂

    Destination Infinity

  4. wanderlustathome says :

    How did to manage to set your hair on fire??
    I agree with you, daily cooking is a drudgery, I prefer cooking on special occasions..
    As for marriage, don’t ever settle for anyone less than a head chef 😉

  5. Deboshree says :

    I am so glad I have a twin. I am as bad if not worse at all this cooking business, if you don’t mind me saying so, and I have amazing answers to the sardonic smiles I am given. 😀
    Lets hope our better halves come equipped with good culinary skills. Life partners are supposed to be complements after all. 😀

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