Seasons have flown away,
And he waits with wishful eyes,
Gazing at the ashen skies,
Each moment of each day.
She lingers in a misty cage,
Between the heaven and earth,
Trying to free her stifled mirth,
Which roars in steaming rage.
Voila! She finds the door ajar,
And out she comes with glee,
Now she can almost see,
Her love, which once seemed so far.
The rain drop gently hits the soil,
And caresses his parched face,
Glued by a tight embrace,
Passion begins to boil.
Light cracks in heaven above,
The sky in wonder shouts,
The first blade of green grass sprouts,
And consummates their love.
I stood in the crowded cafeteria and gazed at her silent face. She hadn’t spoken anything in the last five minutes and her silence was beginning test my patience. My question was fairly straightforward and given our three year long relationship it wasn’t very difficult to answer. Nevertheless I allowed her to take her own time.
Her rubicund lips finally parted. They formed an oval and out came the two syllables, slowly, one after the other, each one taking an eternity to enter my ears and settle down. Then they formed an inseparable bond and gradually the word “no” began to ring in my ears. It echoed over and over again until my cognitive processes finally deduced that my proposal had received a heartless “no”.
The world around me froze and I found myself trapped in a canvas from which there was no escape. Everything began to sink in the background pushing a white, colourless, frozen mass to the fore which was devoid of colour and life. Warmth started seeping out of my body leaving a cold trail behind which caused blood in my veins to freeze. I could feel the heat making its way towards the tips of my fingers and toes from where it just leaped out into a space that was unknown to me. All the other people in the room ceased to exist. I couldn’t see them anymore. Where were they? Buried under the disappointment that surrounded me? Or had they melted due to the heat that had just escaped my body? I did not know and to be honest I did not care.
I looked at her for the last time. Her auburn hair were more fiery than ever before. Her face was glowing, radiating nonchalance and indifference. Colour had drained from her lips and cheeks and for all I knew she was a mannequin or a wax figure blissfully ignorant of human emotions.
I turned and started walking away from her, from all the promises she had made and kisses that we had shared. I felt a cold draught above my head that brought back all the memories we had painted together. I tried to spin an impervious shield around myself, but in vain.
This post has been shared at Thursday Tales
It was a splendid full moon night and I lay on the sandy beach with my eyes fixed at the gleaming stars, trying to look at the galaxies that lived beyond our skies. He was there, right next to me, gazing at those tiny twinkling dots that kindled the entire scene. And with us there was the silence of the night.
It was an unusual night. The sea was calm. The silence resonated in the vast space that lay ahead. It made every breath that we took sound like tiny volcanic eruptions. The Gods seemed to have hushed the waves. They silently knocked at our feet and went away. Not a word said. Not a greeting exchanged. Were they trying to say something? I could not tell.
The shameless moon was staring brazenly at us. I wished it wasn’t there. Once in a while a wandering cloud came to our rescue. But, almost immediately the moon popped out, putting an end to my fugacious relief.
We lay there with our fingers entwined. My heart was gradually tip-toeing towards his. Slowly, he let my hand go and my gaze shifted from the sky to his eyes. They were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. They always told me that he loved me. Their deep blue reminded me of the ocean. But today his eyes were different. He had a secret. I knew it. I could tell by looking at his face.
Suddenly I felt a metallic object touch my finger. My heartbeat became erratic. The tip of my ears started burning. Butterflies started fluttering in my stomach. I continued to look at his face. Slowly, his lips parted and broke the silence of the night. ” Darling, will you marry me?”
I remained quiet. My silence had given him the answer. Warm tears filled my eyes. He lifted my hand gently and kissed it.
I was standing outside the Millennium Mall* waiting for my friend to arrive. The sun rays were piercing my skin and I was beginning to get impatient. As I was scanning the entire place hoping that she would spring out from some corner, my eyes well on an old couple. Judging by their white hair I guessed they must have been in their sixties. The lady had a youthful smile on her face. There were fine lines around her eyes but they still had a childlike twinkle. The gentleman looked absolutely adorable in his shirt and checked pants that were held in place with the help of leather galluses.
The couple stepped onto the pavement and prepared to cross the road. As the gentleman put his right foot forward the lady grabbed his hand and snapped ” Be careful! You must look both ways before crossing the road”. He freed his hand and replied angrily ” Stop being so fussy. I am a grown up. I am no longer a child.” He crossed his arms and stared at his wife. His face bore the look of a child who had just been denied a chocolate bar.
A warm smile spread across my face. For a moment I forgot about my friend and the scorching sun.
* Name Changed
[ Based on an incident narrated by one of my friends]
There is something miraculous about a person’s first love. It’s a feeling that cannot be explained. It happens when one’s heart starts fluttering like a butterfly and the person doesn’t know why, when the mind starts wandering to unknown places but never really reaches anywhere. You think about that ‘special someone’ all the time. The more you think, the more you smile. This smile spreads a warm glow on your face that touches everything around you like the morning sunshine. (I am smiling as I write this post.) You may fall in love again with another person but the memory of the first love always remains.
Today I found myself wandering in the memory lanes of my love life. I thought about all the guys whom I liked both secretly and openly. Some of my crushes used to last for quite a while, others not so much. I remembered how all my gal pals and I used to sit down and talk about different guys and their idiosyncrasies, how we praised some and bitched about the others. Countless hours were spent calculating meaningless love percentages and compatibility scores on the internet. And as I was thinking about all these things I remembered my first love, the guy who made my heart skip a beat for the first time, the guy who made me blush for the first time, the guy whom I absolutely adored.
I was very young and very naive at that time. But surprisingly my tiny little heart was mature enough to understand what being in love was like. And it was selfless love, pure and transparent just like a dew drop. There was no lust or greed associated with it. Things like family background, financial status, social status were inconsequential at time and I am pretty sure these terms made no sense to me then. I sat in class and secretly admired him. I ensured that he became my dancing partner in the school functions. I never missed an opportunity to be in his company. Every time he smiled at me I felt a little tipsy. And it all happened to me when I was seven years old -not that young an age. Is it? 😉
It was the cutest thing that has ever happened to me. The very thought of it lightens up my face and raises my spirits. There are a lot of memories associated with that time which are clearly etched in my mind. I remember myself in a polka-dotted frock with my hair tied up in a piggy tail waiting for him at the school gate. Oh! how charming he looked in his striped shorts and printed shirt with a plastic water bottle hanging around his neck. I always imagined raising a family with him, just like the three bears- Mamma Bear, Papa Bear and Baby Bear. Together we would live in the woods, as they did in the bed time story books.
I never articulated my feelings for him, not even to my closest friend. Why? Well, for those of you who have forgotten seven is an age when boys and girls are supposed to hate each other, when girls are supposed to say “I hate boys” or “Boys are so stupid” (That was the expected norm in my friend circle. Obviously ten years down the line these norms are always revised). I had no inclination to defy them and become an outcast. I guess social acceptance was not something I was willing to give up. So, my feelings for my prince charming were never made vocal. Telling my parents was out of the question as they were “not cool enough to appreciate my feelings”. Alas! I was the little girl with a skeleton in her closet.
Whenever I was around him, I was happy. Unfortunately my happiness was short-lived as his parents came to the conclusion that our school was not good enough for their super smart son and they decided to put him in another one. And it was then, ladies and gentleman, at the age of 10, that I suffered my first heart-break. The love of my life was being taken away from me. And there was no one to take me in his/her arms and say “Its going to be ok… don’t worry”. Even my dolls and stuffed toys proved to be of little help.
The best thing about a young mind is that it forgives and forgets. It does not carry the bad memories of the past like a heavy baggage. So, gradually, over a period of time my feelings began to subside and before I knew I was over him. This marked the demise of what could have been one of the greatest love stories of the 21st century. 😉
So, as all of you must have gauged by now, I was totally into this guy. Call it a crush, love, infatuation whatever you please. It was there. It was real. It was unadulterated. Many of you might have difficulty assimilating the fact that a girl so young can have such feelings. But it happened to me. And I am sure it has happened to many of you too.
The memories of that time always make me laugh and I forget all the little things that bother me right now.
Oh! How I wish I could fly back in time.
How I wish I could relive those days.
How I wish I could be seven and in love once again.